"I can't forgive myself."

You're right. You can't. So stop trying.

Over the years of serving in prison ministry, the one issue that prisoners always want to talk about is self-forgiveness. It's one of those "if I had a nickel for every time..." things.

This is the single largest issue that I encounter that keeps people from true freedom in Christ. Where did this concept come from? Certainly not the Scriptures. Nowhere, either explicitly or implicitly, is this mentioned. Where are commanded to add something to the cross in order to be forgiven for our sins? When did the cross become insufficient?

Here's how the typical conversation goes:

Counselee: "I can't forgive myself for __________ (naming the sin)."

Me: "You're right."

C: "What do you mean?"

M: "You're right. You can't forgive yourself. You don't have to, anyway."

C: "Yes, I do."

M: "OK. Are you a Christian? (then I ask some basic questions to make sure he is. If the answer is ultimately "yes," we continue) Do you believe God forgives sin?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Do you believe He has the power and authority to forgive sin?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Do you believe He has power and authority to forgive YOUR sin?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Have you asked Him to forgive you for your sin?"

C: "Yes."

M" Do you believe Jesus died to forgive sin?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Do you believe Jesus died so YOUR sin could be forgiven?"

C: "Yes."

M: Has your sin been forgiven?"

C: Yes."

M: "Completely?"

C: "Yes."

M: "So that sin of ____________ has been forgiven?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Do you believe that?"

C: "Yes."

M: "Really? Totally?"

C: "Totally."

M: "Where does it say in the Bible that you need to forgive yourself?"

C: "Well, uh..it doesn't."

M: "Are you sure?"

C: "I, uh think so..."

M: "You're right. It doesn't. So if God has forgiven your sin through the blood of Jesus Christ and you have accepted that forgiveness as complete and sufficient, why do you feel you have to forgive yourself?"

C: "I just do. I don't know why."

Then the merry-go-round continues.

We can't add anything to the cross. If we are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, why do people think there's another spiritual hoop to jump through?